he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize