It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
