her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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