i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
