My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
