hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I believe in your delicious
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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