So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
