im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize