Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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