At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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