I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
