fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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