New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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