Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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