Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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