Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
