Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
