I'd wear matching sweaters with you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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