U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize