god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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