I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
