I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Vodka?
Forever.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
