Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
