And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He did a backflip because drugs
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