When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
