i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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