Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My ATM looks so different sober.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
