it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
