I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
