Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
