I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
