Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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