Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
