Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize