he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
