We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize