I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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