Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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