I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Farmville is her only friend.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
