I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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