ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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