I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
