I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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