She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
