But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize