He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
