Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
