My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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