walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
