wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize