Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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