I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
