I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
