You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize