OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
