I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
