my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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