you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
