I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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