She said her name was "party"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
