I seem to have left my pride at pride
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
