But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My ass is underappreciated
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
