no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
