she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
