Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
