I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
