Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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