He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
